We have all overheard slightly comical conversations at a music festival. There’s the guy who claims he just LOVESSS Avicii, and that girl who needs to take a cliché photo with captions like, “Coachillllen”. Here are just a handful of phrases that you should avoid at the next festival you attend.
1.“Oh, do they play that Justin Bieber song?”
. . .unless the stage has these two gentlemen on it, probably not. But don’t worry, you are bound to hear the song we all know and love, “Where Are Ü Now”, at least once at a festival.
2. “Meet me at the main stage”
Between the disappointing cell service and the plans that never end up happening, it is about 85% unlikely that you not be able to find who are trying to meet up with at the “main stage”.
3. “What’s that secret handshake”
If you weren’t taught how to ‘PLUR’ at your first EDM festival, then I’m not sure how you spent your time. Refer to the diagram below.
4. “Just call me when you want to meet up.”
This goes back to the cell phone service thing. Do not plan on being able to contact someone via cell service. I hate to crush your hopes, but better now than later.
5. “Why does everyone make bracelets that looks like the were made by five year olds?”
…look—I don’t make the rules around here. But I am going to follow them like everyone else. The bracelets add a nice touch, and creating them makes the pre-music festival hype way better.
6. “I’m definitely going to be in the front row”
The enthusiasm is great, but I highly doubt that will happen. But just in case you do go for gold, I hope you use the porta-potty before you venture up front.
7. “Do you think Calvin Harris will bring out Taylor Swift?”
. . .Probably not. Taylor Swift is a pretty busy gal. The chances of her making an appearance with her better half are about as likely as Luke Bryan headlining Electric Daisy Carnival 2016.
8. “Do you think I’ll see a celebrity?”
If seeing a celebrity is a priority for your next festival, we need to have a talk. There are so many amazing things to see at a festival—a celebrity is not one of them (unless they are performing on stage. Then that’s totally understandable).
9. “Do you think my feet will hurt if I wear these sandals”
Your feet will hurt no matter what kind of shoe you are wearing. But be kind to them—wearing tennis shoes (or hey, even no shoes at all) will be the most comfortable.
10. “I want to take a picture with a watermelon”
…You and every other Tumblr/Instagram enthusiast female here. If you are one of these people, just do us all a favor and actually EAT the watermelon. It will refresh the hell out of you, and why let it go to waste!? P.S. – I hope your Instagram gets a lot of likes.
11. “I wish people would stop running into me”
. . .It’s not going to happen, I’m so sorry.
You get the point. There are just some things that are better left unsaid at a music festival. If it sounds stupid, it probably is—but don’t worry, I’m sure you’re not the only one thinking it!